Lord I sit here trying to understand you.
I know you sure are there but I don’t know where.
I try to imagine how you look like.
Are you an angry GOD staring down at me as I sin,
only sparing me because of my mother’s prayers?
Or is my life your way of punishing me?
But no, they say your mercies are new every morning,
and so are you, a kind father forgiving me every day.
Well, God sometimes I’m so scared of you I can’t even pray.
But I will look at the birds of the air, they fly and never fall.
I will look at the rings on my fingers and take them to be your promises to me.
God, sometimes I feel so lonely, I wonder if you are really there.
Sometimes I feel so empty that I can’t even speak about you to my friends.
But I remind myself, we do not go back, we wait upon you.
Does this mean you are like men?
There at times, and you let go when we lose our trust?
But your word says you will not forsake us.
Sometimes Lord I know, like Peter, that I too can walk on water.
However, I think I’m too sinful for you to let me.
To be honest Lord, I have only kept my faith because I fear death,
I want to come to heaven when I die.
Sometimes I’m a Christian just because they are nice people and I want to be nice.
But God I desire you. I want to know you well.
That praise will replace my doubts,
that your grace will be my testimony.
That I won’t feel crazy again believing in the unseen,
for by faith the unseen is seen.
Lord, when I talk, let me talk about Jesus,
that He shed His blood on Calvary and saved me.
That He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Though it sounds abnormal, your kingdom is not a normal one anyway.
That he had power to overcome all laws of nature,
He ascended defying all laws of gravity.
He walked on water, healed the sick, and the deaf.
He did not preach the knowledge of Plato and Socrates.
He taught the knowledge of peace and love.
Remind me in my loneliness that you never forsake.
In my doubts, that your ways cannot be understood by men.
In my fears, not to be afraid or dismayed.
In my lack, you are my provider.
Although I still don’t understand you,
neither have I seen you face to face,
nor heard you speak to me directly,
I will remind myself that your gaze is more than the light of the sun,
your love greater than the space between the earth and the heavens,
and more than the wind, Lord,
your presence is everywhere.
I will believe what I cannot see.
I will trust what was written ages ago.
I know you are there despite all.
Before I doubtyou Lord cause me to doubt my
By Woki Mburu